Anonymous

I have been isolated in darkness for quite sometime, watching as you stand in the spotlight. All I ask for is to feel the warmth of the brightness but I don’t dare show my face or name because I’m not right. My brokenness is too much for me to accept so I hide in the cold darkness with it so you don’t have to. Although you can see me every day in the crowd, your gaze will just pass through. I want the exposure as you have and be free from this abyss of shame but is it possible? What If I introduced you to the real me is it plausible? Would you listen? Would you see past my guilt and our differences and help unlock a warden from his own prison? Would you turn in disgust as I begin to discuss the brokenness I clutch with a death grip filled with lust and stuffed into the corner of solitude because of my distrust? Im taking the stage enough is enough.
– Anonymous

I would like to introduce myself
Hi my name is Storm that’s not a joke
I’d been corrupt with lust since 16 years ago.
I vividly began exhibiting behavior crying out for sympathy and intimacy. I would rather steal love than accept it when it was given to me. Oh I’d have years if I could count the hours I’ve spent addicted. And the tears would fill up a sea from looking in the mirror trying to cure the affliction. But i wasn’t the answer. I was only the corruption fueling the cancer. Sure I believe Jesus died and is alive but he’s mad at me. I have to kill this single handedly to be a part of Christianity. Every time I would swear and quit sin, it mimicked my savior after three days it’s alive again! But I missed it when Jesus said were not condemned before he said go on and don’t sin again – the empowerment of grace is the precious, promise that he left us he took me and he cleansed what, I had kept caged like a zoo. The elephant in the room is now the same proof I can show you that I’ve been made new. Christ said What defined you before is now full of my glory, now get out of hiding and tell them your story.

Phoenix

This is the end
My life is a ruin
A shadow of what used to be
cast upon me
Like a midnight hour
Picking the lock of vitality
The life I once gleamed with
is almost extinguished
The breeze on my skin is an agony
A grim reminder
Frail is the flesh alone

DEATH IS GLORY

Bury me in a white flag
Nothing more than the dust
from which I came
Immortality is death wish sworn by your name

Emerge from your dead ash
Let the torch of your fire be what
lights the way
Worthy is the Phoenix exhumed from the kings reign

Burn me alive
Let smoke fill the air
with the bondage of compromise
A new life eternal
Like a burning inferno
Defines the fabric of which I’m made
No weapon against us
Can break the defenses
Of the spirit who temples the ruins I once became
A newfound mind-state
I am not alone

DEATH IS GLORY

Bury me in a white flag
Nothing more than the dust
from which I came
Immortality is death wish sworn by your name

Emerge from your dead ash
Let the torch of your fire be what
lights the way
Worthy is the Phoenix exhumed from the kings reign

Phoenix rise
Phoenix rise
Phoenix rise kill your compromise

Phoenix rise
Phoenix rise
Phoenix rise to your new life

Blood Stained Grace

I Created the world
Then imagined you
Put my hands in the dirt
And my dream became true

In the garden we walked
And at sins first touch
I’d trade heaven for earth
In exchange for love

Born as a man
To embrace deaths wrath
I’ll conquer the world
Just to have you back

I Healed the sick
Though there was no cure
Gave sight to the blind
When sin left you blurred

I Silenced the storm
When your fear ran deep
And walked on the water
As chaos became peace

With food for few men
I had thousands eat
Raised up the dead
As if they were asleep

I crouched in your hurt
As I walked to that cross
Felt the warmth of your shame
As you breathed out taunts

The voids in my palms
Is the guilt you hold
And the cuts from my crown
Is the worth you sold

My arms forced and stretched
Are as tense as you now
The fight in my lungs
Is the plea of a vow

I choked and I begged
For the forgiveness of man
Though they hung me for death
They didn’t understand

The gold of my blood
Is the worth I’d trade
For the filthiest of men
That spit in my face

I declare it is finished
Then rose from the grave
The cross I traded you
Is blood stained with grace

Prayer

​

I want to talk to you about some things I’ve been keeping in.

I keep hitting the snooze button I’ve been sleeping in

On all the talks that we could have between a son and a dad but I’m not good at calling home and checking in.

Where do I begin? I guess with my father I’ve never bothered to talk about him or how it bothers me. I keep thinking about how He was never around and I have my own kids now and can’t imagine them doing without. Even worse I feel like I can’t relate to their love because all I had was hate for my dad, I’m thankful for what, they’re teaching me I can’t even begin to describe how much it means to me. Still underneath I have this secrecy of feelings I’m not dealing with I’d rather feel sick to my stomach than reveal it. Why was he never there? Why did he die in his early years? Why am I reminded of him every time I look in the mirror? Why is “you’re just like your dad” the only thing I would ever hear? It’s so repetitive I just want a sedative from it because I can’t take the big picture and make this positive from the negative. But they say clear pictures are developed in dark rooms. If that’s true then turn the lights out and help me feel my way through.

“Way to start off heavy I guess.. I’m sorry I just have to get stuff off my chest.” I’m stressed and messed up in the head battling with being depressed and I’m just trying to put a smile on and give my best.

I’m not a product of abuse, I’m a result of neglect. Is it my fault she hides away and work herself to death? She filled my life with material things that resulted from her success but I needed a mom to talk to when my life got complex. I’d rather sit down and chatter with her until it turns to laughter but I was muted and sent to my room to tend to my own fractures.

The thing is our relationship was built on a lie “is this one my dad? No” “How about him?” “Your dad died” and I was nine! she keeps telling me I need time but I never got the time of day for her to sit down and explain WHY

and everyone else in the family gave me a different excuse and loose ends and hoops to jump through I just want the truth

if she gave it to me I don’t know if I could believe her no matter how eager I am I just want freedom from my family. God if you healed this what can it be? I’m full of my own flaws so I don’t ask for perfection I just pray for a step in the right direction

Unconditional is the New Condition

 

1 Corinthians 13:4-7 English Standard Version (ESV)

^“4 Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant ⁵ or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; ⁶ it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”

My wife, Sarah, is NOT the perfect partner. I do not live in some fairy tale where my marriage is perfect. Like all people, Sarah has strengths and weaknesses, and I have found that they are usually the opposite of my own. When she makes a mistake, it gets under my skin and pushes me to my absolute limit sometimes. I find the same is true when I am wrong and she offers correction. I know the same is true for her feelings when we struggle. There are some days where our bond is unbreakable and on other days a spilled sippy cup of chocolate milk or changing a dirty diaper might push us to avoiding each other for a couple of hours. I have slowly come to realize the perfect marriage we both had dreamed of (humanly speaking) was only a major misconception of what we had got ourselves into. At first I was a little discouraged and I know my wife was as well. Maybe we had made a mistake under a covenant of God. There have been time where we had collectively asked that question. But we had not asked God what he had to say.. Yet

So what does God have to say to a married couple? More specifically to a married couple who is struggling with each others imperfections that fuel a fire for the destruction of marriage? After reading through the scriptures that are on the topic of love with Sarah and much prayer I realized God doesn’t necessarily give us a mate who is compatible with us. In reality he usually finds us a mate who is almost completely incompatible with us. why? He will give us someone who is strong in all the areas where they must be for our needs, and they will usually fail in the areas where we do not want them to fail. This is to make us become more like Jesus; so we learn to love someone unconditionally who doesn’t meet the conditions.

The next time the trash doesn’t get taken out, the finances are out of order, or the one thing you wish differently about your spouse is in focus; before you respond with the correction needed, seek Christ’s face in the midst of that moment, and remember how imperfect you were until he became the center of your being. He has always been forgiving and loving of you. It is our responsibility to do the same for others, starting with our spouse.