Unconditional is the New Condition


1 Corinthians 13:4-7 English Standard Version (ESV)

“4 Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant 5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; 6 it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. 7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”

My wife, Sarah, is NOT the perfect partner. I do not live in some fairy tale where my marriage is perfect. Like all people, Sarah has strengths and weaknesses, and I have found that they are usually the opposite of my own. When she makes a mistake, it gets under my skin and pushes me to my absolute limit sometimes. I find the same is true when I am wrong and she offers correction. I know the same is true for her feelings when we struggle. There are some days where our bond is unbreakable and on other days a spilled sippy cup of chocolate milk or changing a dirty diaper might push us to avoiding each other for a couple of hours. I have slowly come to realize the perfect marriage we both had dreamed of (humanly speaking) was only a major misconception of what we had got ourselves into. At first I was a little discouraged and I know my wife was as well. Maybe we had made a mistake under a covenant of God. There have been time where we had collectively asked that question. But we had not asked God what he had to say.. Yet

So what does God have to say to a married couple? More specifically to a married couple who is struggling with each others imperfections that fuel a fire for the destruction of marriage? After reading through the scriptures that are on the topic of love with Sarah and much prayer I realized God doesn’t necessarily give us a mate who is compatible with us. In reality he usually finds us a mate who is almost completely incompatible with us. why? He will give us someone who is strong in all the areas where they must be for our needs, and they will usually fail in the areas where we do not want them to fail. This is to make us become more like Jesus; so we learn to love someone unconditionally who doesn’t meet the conditions.

The next time the trash doesn’t get taken out, the finances are out of order, or the one thing you wish differently about your spouse is in focus; before you respond with the correction needed, seek Christ’s face in the midst of that moment, and remember how imperfect you were until he became the center of your being. He has always been forgiving and loving of you. It is our responsibility to do the same for others, starting with our spouse.


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